Whispered Insanity
by xAngelxWhisperx
Summary: Fai all smiles and laughter. Kurogane all anger and grimaces. A brittle porcelin doll dropped into the arms of a reluctant saviour. A torturuous past is about to unravel into an unstable present. But from it will an unfortunate romance blossum? Kurofai.
1. Whispers of an insane mind

_My Beautiful naïve__ murderer. _


	2. Introductions to an insane mind

_My Beautiful, naïve, murderer._

Prologue  
_  
"And you're names are?" _  
The Dimensional Witches voice rang out through the rain like a bell and the gruff voice to his right was the first to react.  
"Kurogane." Like a bitter sweet symphony his voice clashed against hers, and a pause hung in the air.  
_"And your wish?"_  
There was no hesitation in his reply, only his anger fuelled words tumbling out once again. "To return to my world." And so his wish was made. His sword exchanged, as well as some hatred fuelled words of shock that this was the demanded price.  
He supposed the silence signalled his turn to speak but for a moment he simply couldn't. All words caught in his throat until he managed to spit out the words "Fai D. Fluorite".

_**And so he felt that smile slide so naturally onto his face. **_


	3. Questions told to an insane mind

**_ 1-_**

_ And what is it you wish?_

_ What is it I……Wish?  
What do I wish …….for?  
No…Fear.  
I want…. To flee from the….. dark…  
To run. Far, far, far from here.  
I want…….._

"**Freedom!"**

"We were in only there for an hour idiot!" Kurogane growled as the stupid mage pranced out

of the doorway, arms flailing, spinning like the idiot he was. "If you think I'm looking after you when your sick you've got another thing coming!"

"Kuro-nii! Kuro-nii is so mean!" Kurogane watched as the wizard bounded up to him, that

stupid smile glued to his lips. The grin widened as he leaned in further. "wouldn't you hold my hair?" And closer. "And rub my back?" And closer still, until their noses were touching, the wizards soft hair sweeping his cheek. "And k-" Until he could feel shivers winding their way up his tensed spine from the hot breath that now tickled his lips. Until-

And so he shot backwards; legs finding themselves wound around each other, stumbling and

glaring, anger rising.

"Ohhhh Kuro-puu is embarrassed." The wizards smile was gleeful and Kurogane fought hard against the urge to throttle him. "Kuro-kuro doesn't like me going so close?" He however could not resist when his travelling companion reached up and placed the finger, he had been previously wiggling obnoxiously in Kurogane's face, against his nose.

The feather light touch was enough that Kurogane pushed his counterpart away furiously, his growl venomous, as he watched the man fall to the floor. "Don't mage!" And with that he was stalking off. He didn't even bother to look back as he rounded a corner and headed in the direction their latest makeshift home.

"Kuro-" He didn't give the bun long enough to finish another undoubtedly annoying sentence before dropping onto one of the many chairs scattered throughout the large room. Why did the stupid mage have to cause so many problems? Prancing around like a stupid child with that ridiculous grin spread across his face. Kurogane couldn't stand him. Even the thought of him was enough as to cause him to groan aloud and press a hand to his now throbbing forehead.

He thought back the place they had just come from, trying to wrap his mind around what exactly had occurred. He could not decide whether the information they had gained was useless or indeed held something of importance in finding the feather.

And still Kurogane found himself pondering when and why he had become so interested in this ridiculous quest. It was not as though this was his intention for travelling. Indeed he would gain nothing from helping, and yet he found himself realising that neither would he loose anything by aiding them.

Except maybe a hefty chunk of his sanity when dealing with a certain blonde imbecile that simply would not stop being a nuisance. That stupid mage with his fake smiles and disregard for life; he drove the ninja insane. And yet- Kurogane found himself questioning where the mage was, knowing yet denying, that he was worried the latter may have found himself in trouble after he himself had left.

But he would not feel guilty for such a thing. If the wizard had not been goading him he would not treat him in such a way-

Well maybe he would have, but at least he may have returned to help him and not just left him on the ground, face still split by that ridiculous smile.

Shaking his head in frustration he channelled his thoughts back to that of the tasks they had been set in that so-called 'library'. The only library on record that supplied no books. Instead it's large doors had given way to a hollowed empty room. This in itself, of course, was not something of use until they had taken a further step inside. At once the doors had slammed shut, the noise echoing throughout and two figures had appeared to them.

Though possibly not the most unusual occurrence they had faced since entering this quest the scene had only grown more obscure. The two figures, who looked to be children, no more than 15 years old had stepped forward bowing gracefully, eyes shining. The long robes they wore trailing patterns of silver and gold along the floor. Twisted patters of ivy embroidered in blue on one figure and red on the other.

Kurogane made to question the two figures but found his throat would not form the words; so instead he had found himself glaring at- well at the wizard actually who had appeared in front of him.

He was close, close enough to touch….and yet so far away. His eyes must have been deceiving him for the walls now seemed to be closing in on him, and only him, blocking him off from the mage.

Even when he reached out and pressed his hand firmly against some solid substance he could see the airy expression on the other mans face. He found himself growling again, still aiming the action at the wizard whose grin only widened as he winked in his direction.

Kurogane felt the urge building inside of him to punch and allowed himself to; knowing this time he would hit the wall and not someone's idiotic face. Why did he always have to wear that mask, hiding whatever the hell he was hiding underneath? Kurogane knew full well that he himself wasn't exactly the most open person of all, but at least he left his emotions show on his face. He just wished that he could-

The thought never finished as one of the previous figures appeared before him, as the other appeared before the idiot.

"Answer a question." The figures asked in unison, smiling like Cheshire cats.

"How when we can't-" The words caught in his throat as he made the opposite observation of the comment he was about to make. "What question?" He replied gruffly.

"How does it feel?" Kurogane felt his hateful expression turn to something very different for a split second before he managed to gain his bearings. Instead he found himself staring confusedly. His sight landed first on the being then on the wizard, whose face held an expression more alive and vivid than any he had ever seen.

He would have been happy, or at least relieved, to see such a thing he could overcome the terrified feeling that was clawing up his throat threatening to choke him.

His hand slammed against the glass once again. "What the hell kind of question is that?" His glare was enough to melt steel and the being scuttled off, well floated off, more accurately.

"Let me out of here goddamitt!" He knew his voice was strained as he pushed forward, fists banging against the wall. What the hell had that creature said to him? What question had he been asked to cause his face to distort into such an expression of devastation? If this was the truth, to the very core of Fay's nature, what exactly had happened to the wizard?

It made him almost too fearful of all the times he had goaded him into telling him, maybe he didn't need to know. Maybe this was something left unsaid, something that could be left in the dark of his past, where Kurogane could help instead with his present.

He almost missed that stupid fake smile…..Almost…..

And then he found himself falling forward, mind reeling as he tried to figure out what was going on, having wound himself up with his speeding thoughts, only to land on the cold concrete of the outside world.

From there he had tried to press the wizard for answers only to be faced once again by that grin.

And yet now he knew what lurked behind it and his anger had gotten its way with him, hence his leaving the wizard where he was, still grinning, and walked away. He was angry, his hatred for the mage growing at an almost disturbing rate and yet-

_Now here he was, launched to his feet, stance set in one of determination, as he set out to find his stupid mage. _


	4. Running from an insane mind

Finally another update, I dont even know why it's taken this long. I've had half of this written weeks ago. Hope you enjoy this look into Fai's ever so slightly broken mind.

And as always. I dont own these characters, however I do own the plot lines, the plot is all mine so dont steal please. Enjoy.

* * *

_-2_

Fai found himself blinking as something wet slid down his face, mind not quite able to figure out what it may be, through the haze that clouded it.

Something had happened, some event had occurred some unknown time ago. How long had he been sat there? The question circled in his mind. Truly how long had he been curled up on the ground, knees to his chest, head again them, hair laced across him tracing patters with the strands and covering his darkened face?

The pitter patter of- rain- he realised, now that his brain seemed to have started its process of working again, caused him to stir and limply lift his head to the greying sky.

Despite knowing that sitting in the now pouring rain was not such a good idea, he could not muster up the energy to move from the dirty ground. So instead he found himself squeezing his eyes tightly shut and allowing his head to fall to the ground, his body following close by with a thud. He wondered for a brief moment, if he could maybe press himself into the ground hard it enough for it to comply with his wish and swallow him completely.

No, of course it wouldn't, he reasoned.

But that sure as hell wouldn't stop him from trying. And try he did, with the rain soaking his clothes, washing away the pain in his body and numbing the pain in his heart.

Why did he always allow himself to do this? Why did he always allow his heart to rule him when his heart had betrayed him so many times? And yet he never had let his head lead him, not even when everything had begun to go so wrong.

That he could not understand. It made it seem to him, that his heart should bet the strong one, since it had led him through this unbearably long life, but in truth...?

In truth he wondered what was left of his heart. Well, of the pieces he had managed to brittlely put back together. Pieces that no longer fit and refused to stay in the form they were originally sculptured into.

Too many curses.

Too many betrayals.

Too many sins.

Too many losses.

Too many _smiles; false smiles that hid the truth. False masks that covered the breaking heart of a boy too many times broken, too many times abused. _

_A false heart, already broken like glass to be stood upon, the shards crushed to sand by Ash- _

His heart was heavy, not only with the pain of recollecting the past but also with the damp ad the cold sinking into his chest, near drowning him in the street. Not for the first time in his life he wondered what it would be like to just let the lady Death swallow him. For a brief moment the thought filled him with utter joy and he smiled.

The smile was one that others would gaze upon and shiver;_ a ghostly, bitter smile. _

But it vanished almost as fast as it had come as the light he could previously feel behind his eyes began to vanish, night was beginning to fall and now all that filled him was intense panic.

The feeling rose from his chest, spreading through his shivering limbs and causing his head to swirl. How had night fallen so fast? A sickening lump filled his throat as he spun around frantically, trying to gather his bearings.

He couldn't.... wouldn't be lost out here in the dark; not now. Not when his consideration of death lay only there, in consideration. He wasn't prepared to be caught in that tunnel of fear once again.

And so he ran, as did he always, he ran and ran until the world was nothing but a blank canvas, streaming past and becoming white.

_All was fine as long as the world did not fade to black. _

It was his mind that was now fading; along with the world. He simply could not figure out how long he had been running. He couldn't figure out much when it came to the workings of time it seemed. But the fact that it still wasn't getting any lighter showed that he simply hadn't run for long enough.

Where was he even running to....No that question wasn't correct, though he knew the answer was that he had no idea where he was going.

The question that needed to be addressed? Why he was running. Why he was always running. He was running from the past, from terrible events that had befallen him. He was running from the present, the ever growing- thing between him and Kurogane, for he refused to name it a 'relationship'. The wizard wouldn't allow himself to create a bond with anyone again. Not with the children either, he had almost forgotten about those, Sakura and Syoaran. Those children who were on such a difficult quest, the mage knew he should be allowing them to lean on him. They needed all the support they could get, all the support he could give.

But then that was the problem wasn't it. The blonde had nothing more to give, nothing to lend them while they struggled on.

He had been someone to lean on, before. He guessed in some strange way that he was helping them. He was helping with the smile he plastered on his face.

_The one Kurogane hated._

That smile made Sakura cheerful, Syoaran calm, and he himself was so used to it that it made no difference now that it was a fake one. The children didn't seem to notice the difference anyway; he'd had enough practice to perfect it.

Five hundred years to be exact, hundreds of years in the darkness, fake smile stitched over the remains of a frozen heart and a true face, one he was still running from- Running as the rain pounded up on the ground.

He ran until his legs gave way and he crashed down. The wizard could feel his knees collide with the solid, wet ground, the crack sounding out in the silence. Following close by were his hands as he flung them out to support his weight. He could feel the ground tearing at them, grating at the soft flesh and causing it to bleed.

And then his head hit the ground and stars exploded over his bleary, swirling vision. This whole scene seemed too familiar, too close to the horrors that consumed the darkest corners of his mind. And so he returned to prior objectives, thoughts again of leaving, escapism.

_Run, run, run. Don't ever stop running. Don't ever stop to think, don't even stop to breathe. It would be better anyway, wouldn't it? To run so far that he couldn't see the past and didn't have to face the future. _

_**Smile again and swipe away the tears that will never fall.**_

_**Smile and greet the man that will be your demise.**_


End file.
